I has A Ponder

2 washcloth patterns

2011-04-08T08:12:00.000-07:00

These are my first attempted homemade patterns.I didn't start out with a pattern stitch in mind, so the patterns are very basic and can be used with anything.I just chained however many I wanted to chain, you can do more or less chains on your own.

These patterns also have a new stitch technique in them.At the bottom of this post, I'll show you how it's done.I don't even know if I do it right, but it works.

Cabled Washcloth
G hook
(? oz) worsted weight acrylic yarn.

stitches used:
Chain (ch)
Slip Stitch (sl st)
Single Crochet (sc)
Half Double Crochet (hdc)
Double Crochet (dc)
sc middle bar (instructions below)

ch 22 (or how many you feel is big enough)
1. Hdc in 1st sp and across.ch1. turn
2.ws facing, sc middle bar of each hdc across.ch2 turn
3-20. rep rows 1 and 2 evenly until the end.You don't have to stop at 20, make it as big as you wish.Make Sure you finish with an hdc row.

edge: FO yarn with sl st, but do not cut, ch 1 and work an sc in each st around with 3 sc in each corner. FO

Hills and Valleys washcloth/dishcloth
G or H hook
any acrylic worsted weight yarn

ch 26 ( or whatever you feel like)

1. dc in 3rd ch from hook and each st across.ch1. turn
2. sc in middle bar of dc and each dc across.ch2.turn
3. dc in 1st sc. dc in BACK LOOP ONLY of each sc across, except last sc, work a normal dc in that one.ch1.turn

repeat rows 2 and 3 until desired length, (about 20 for me)

edge: end on a dc BLO row. ch1. DO NOT TURN. sc 3 in corner, and sc around working 3 sc in each corner. FO

Sc middle bar explanation
HDC--- on the wrong side of the hdc, insert hook into the middle bar, which is formed by the yarn over.You will see the top loops you are used to using, then beneath those is another bar running horizontal.work an sc in this, a cable will be formed on the front of the completed row.
DC--- same as hdc.it's that bar formed by the yarn over.it sits above the 'wiggly part' of the stitch. a cable will be formed on completion of this row.

Back Loop only---- the back loop refers to the back loop of the stitch.Only use this one, and a cable will be formed by the front loops.

Wedding Q & A

2011-03-18T09:01:00.000-07:00

You may have some questions regarding my upcoming wedding.I have answered them for you.

When and Where?
We haven't gotten that far yet.But it's in the spring or summer.

Food?
yes, it will most likely be potluck.I will send a detailed list of what to bring.
There will be a small cake for us, 2 types of cupcakes for you.I will bake them.

Drink?
yes, wine and an assortment of beers.Only a select few will be consuming the champagne.

Music?
no, there will not be a DJ.We are compiling a list of songs, and will create cds to play.No one is allowed to choose what they want to hear.It's OUR day, it's OUR music.Like it or leave.

Theme?
dark red and white, and roses.

What do I wear?
dress nice, women shouldn't overdress for fear of outdressing the bride.Don't look retarded.

Gifts?
we are not registered anywhere, not yet.We do want a bread machine, electric butter churn,standing mixer, silverware,and a deep fryer.giftcards and money are highly encouraged.

Special rules?
1. be respectful and polite during the ceremony.If you cannot stand us being wed, or are against Christianity, sit still, shut up, or walk out and wait.Or don't come at all.

2.The reception will be nonsmoking, and you will go outside and smoke.Food and our clothing will get all smoked up,and it's disgusting, so go outside.

3.No small children will be allowed in either place.Why? because we do not like them, we do not want them.I do not want a child to be stepped, hurt, break something, tear up something, or just be a brat in general.Get a babysitter or don't come.Same with pets.Don't bring your pet.

4.Any gossip, slander, malice, or laughing at the couple will NOT be tolerated.We have been made fun of all our lives, we will NOT be laughed at on our big day.

Note: if I sound like a bitch, it's because it's my day and I don't want it ruined.I'm allowed to be a bitch.If you don't like it, don't come.

Carpet Shark Squirrel

2010-08-27T16:04:00.001-07:00

Ferrets On Trampoline

2010-08-26T09:07:00.000-07:00

Voice Research Laboratory

2010-08-23T04:29:00.000-07:00

TELEPHONEME | MK12 from MK12 on Vimeo.

Legless Kitteh

2010-08-11T09:24:00.000-07:00

The Front Fell Off

2010-07-20T14:24:00.001-07:00

Poochare'

2010-07-04T19:42:00.000-07:00

Woman Who Cannot Gain Weight

2010-06-29T09:45:00.000-07:00

Baby Red Pandas

2010-06-27T15:20:00.001-07:00

Amputee Cat Gets Bionic Feet

2010-06-27T13:02:00.000-07:00

Omegle Convos #18 Pokemon

2010-05-11T05:34:00.000-07:00

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: I wanna be the very best....
You: cocksucker
Stranger: POKEMON THEME FOOL
You: you're a FAG, fool
Stranger: you're a prick
Stranger: go fuck your mom
You: who the FUCK watches Pokemon anymore????????!!!!!!
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Omegle Convo #17 Scred Him

2010-05-05T23:23:00.000-07:00

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: hey
Stranger: hey
Stranger: ssup
You: nuffin.bore
You: d
Stranger: y?
You: nothin to do
You: and no ones online
Stranger: lets start wid asl
You: 22 f usa
Stranger: cool
Stranger: 18 m usa
You: where? im in ky
Stranger: oh im in OK
You: ooooooo-klahoma..... lol sorry
Stranger: yeeep
Stranger: haha
Stranger: kentucky fried chicken!
You: lol yep
Stranger: haha
Stranger: so wat do u do?
You: nothing.lol. im tring to wrtie a book though
Stranger: wowhh
Stranger: writert
Stranger: writer
Stranger: !!
You: yep
Stranger: wats dat about?
You: the booK?
Stranger: yep
You: its incredibly fucked up.its gonna be about a girl who meets a guy and becomes his sex slave and gets raped and shit
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Mom Spanked The Gay Out Of Me

2010-05-05T16:33:00.001-07:00

80s Television

2010-05-05T16:19:00.000-07:00

[this may be a repost]

Television

2010-05-05T16:04:00.001-07:00

Television is a drug. from Beth Fulton on Vimeo.

Omegle Convo #16 Math

2010-05-04T23:31:00.000-07:00

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: hey there
Stranger: 1 + 1 = ?
You: 2
Stranger: 2 + 2 = ?
You: 4
Stranger: 4 + 4 = ?
You: 8
Stranger: 8 + 8 = ?
You: 16
Stranger: 16 + 16 = ?
You: 32
Stranger: 32 + 32 = ?
You: 64
Stranger: 64 + 64 = ?
You: 128
Stranger: 128 + 128 = ?
You: 256
Stranger: 256 - 256 = ?
You: 0
Stranger: good
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

George

2010-04-30T14:30:00.000-07:00

Pussy or Raw Meat

2010-04-17T13:31:00.001-07:00

Filthiest House

2010-04-16T20:30:00.000-07:00

Drunkest Woman

2010-04-15T21:23:00.001-07:00

Drunkest Lady Ever - watch more funny videos

Perv Game Show Host

2010-04-15T10:15:00.000-07:00

God's Gifts

2010-04-13T18:33:00.000-07:00

Seems God was just about done creating the universe, and had a couple of left-over things left in his bag of creations, so he stopped by to visit Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden.

He told the couple that one of the things he had to give away was the ability to stand up and pee. "It's a very handy thing," God told the couple who he found hanging around under an apple tree. "I was wondering if either one of you wanted that ability."

Adam popped a cork, jumped up and begged, "Oh, give that to me! I'd love to be able to do that! It seems the sort of thing a man should do. Oh please, oh please, oh please, let me have that ability. It would be so great! When I'm working in the garden or naming the animals, I could just let it rip, I'd be so cool. Oh please, God, let it be me who you give that gift to, let me stand and pee, oh please.........." On and on he went.

Eve just smiled and shook her head at the display. She told God that if Adam really wanted it so badly, and it sure seemed to be the sort of thing that would make him happy, she really wouldn't mind if Adam were the one given the ability to stand up and pee.

And so it was. And it was...well, good.

"Fine," God said, looking back into his bag of left-over gifts. "And what do we have left here? Oh yes, multiple orgasms..."

via: Miss Cellania

The Numbat

2010-04-12T11:46:00.000-07:00

Olde English Folk Song

2010-04-11T18:51:00.001-07:00

Baby Penis

2010-04-08T22:16:00.000-07:00

Diner Scene

2010-04-08T18:57:00.000-07:00

Ooh,a picture of a piece of pie at a 50s diner,how nostalgic.IT'S A FUCKING PAINTING.
It's painted by the fucking badass, Ralph Goings.And it's so good,like all of his paintings,that I want to puke.
http://www.ralphgoings.com"

Hemeroplanes caterpillar

2010-04-08T18:53:00.000-07:00

Yes, this is a caterpillar.The snake-like head is actually the bug's backside,which it inflates and pretends to strike with.Like an actual snake.It is found in the rain forests or Mexico and Central America and is extremely rare.

OMG Cat

2010-04-06T11:57:00.001-07:00

Standing Cat

2010-04-05T21:22:00.000-07:00

Stand By Me

2010-04-01T09:42:00.001-07:00

Maneki Neko

2010-04-01T09:18:00.000-07:00

2010-03-31T12:02:00.001-07:00

I would probably seriously watch this if I were bored and it was On Demand

Where's The Money George

2010-03-31T11:52:00.000-07:00

WHERE'S THE MONEY GEORGE ? from oizo mr on Vimeo.

Cuddly Fert

2010-03-27T20:57:00.001-07:00

Down Syndrome Girl Learns About Periods

2010-03-26T13:06:00.000-07:00

Action Squirrel

2010-03-26T11:32:00.001-07:00

Man exposes itchy testicles to children, puts squirrel’s skull on his penis and eats the eyeballs

2010-03-20T10:24:00.001-07:00

A Ridgedale man who allegedly exposed himself to children two months ago will appear in court Thursday morning for an arraignment hearing. Timothy Flood, 46, is charged with statutory sodomy, attempted statutory sodomy and sexual misconduct.

According to a warrant application filed by the Taney County Sheriff’s Office, an interview was conducted with the victims at the Lakes Area Child Advocacy Center in Branson West. They said that Flood “pulled down his blue boxer shorts, exposed his penis to them and told them they better be glad they don’t have ‘these’ (testicles) because they itch all the time.”

In many areas of the court document, it was redacted to protect the victims’ identities. The warrant application also stated that Flood had placed a squirrel’s skull “on the head of his penis and tells them to look at it and then eats the squirrel’s eyeballs.”

Flood allegedly told the victims that he was going to “bounce this on top of their heads” and tried to hit one of them in the head with his penis three times, according to the document. His bond was set at $150,000 cash or surety and remains incarcerated in the Taney County Jail.

Catzilla

2010-03-18T21:37:00.001-07:00

Catzilla from tokyoplastic on Vimeo.

Spotted Skunks

2010-03-16T10:02:00.001-07:00

Kid Jumping On Bed

2010-03-16T10:00:00.000-07:00

Abusive Teacher Claims Children Too Sensitive

2010-03-14T11:47:00.001-07:00

An Australian teacher accused of verbally abusing students by telling one he should die believes he is being punished because modern kids are too sensitive. Former Doncaster Secondary College teacher Edward Wolf, who has 40 years' experience in education, said when he moved from an Altona school to the Doncaster school in Victoria, he believed the children had an air of "self-entitlement" and the student and parent population was like "Footscray with money".

Mr Wolf, who is facing misconduct charges before a Victorian Institute of Teaching disciplinary panel, said he used firm words with unruly students who disrupted class or left the classroom without permission. He denied telling misbehaving Year 10 pupils they were "idiots", but admitted telling one troublesome boy to "shut the f--k up" and another that "just because your dad wanted to get his rocks off, I have to deal with you".

Mr Wolf admitted kicking a student's table from under her feet because she refused to take them down from the desk when her dress and raised legs were "immodest". He also admitted telling a boy named Dyson, who refused to stop banging on a wall during class, to "do what your name says - die, son".

"Considering what they have said to me and other teachers, I don't see them as that sensitive," Mr Wolf said. "If you give it, you should be able to take it. Teachers only have words as a means to work with students and if those words are efficacious, then in that context I consider them appropriate." The VIT panel will hand down its findings on a date to be set.

Dog Returns After Being Carried Away By Bird

2010-03-14T11:43:00.000-07:00

Some kind of large bird picked up Poppy the 3-pound chihuahua in Columbia, South Carolina .

"It kind of looked like he was in both of his talons and the bird was flying up and he was looking down and whining," said Tim Todd.

The family spent hours searching the nearby streets and neighbourhoods for Poppy, but they couldn't find him. That made it hard to get to sleep.

"It was a very sleepless night because everything that kept going through my mind was my little dog being torn apart and it was hard to imagine that he was going through that," said Tim's mother, Elizabeth.

After a night of tossing and turning, relief showed up right at the front door as Elizabeth's dad was leaving for work. It was Poppy, running to Elizabeth's arms. "I just broke down in tears because my little Poppy was back," said Elizabeth.

Poppy was in one piece, despite being a little dirty and scratched. "He just wanted to love on someone," said Tim. "Miracles still happen," said Elizabeth. "Prayers get answered even for little dogs.

Cat & Mouse

2010-03-11T14:04:00.000-08:00

French Roast

2010-03-09T22:38:00.001-08:00

French Roast from Piokaz on Vimeo.

Logorama

2010-03-09T22:29:00.000-08:00

Sing Along

2010-03-09T21:58:00.000-08:00

Academy Award Winning Movie

2010-03-08T12:41:00.001-08:00

A Trailer for Every Academy Award Winning Movie Ever -- powered by Cracked.com

YouTube Closes For The Night

2010-03-08T12:31:00.001-08:00

Man Commits Suicide With Giant Pencil

2010-03-08T12:25:00.000-08:00

A window cleaner died after stabbing himself in the groin repeatedly with a jumbo souvenir pencil, an inquest heard. Jeffrey Burton’s family and friends were baffled by his bizarre death, which was recorded as an open verdict because there was no evidence he was trying to commit suicide.

Mr Burton, 57, was found by police in a blood-soaked room in his house in St Leonards, East Sussex, on September 27. Worried neighbours raised the alarm after they were unable to get hold of him.

When police broke into his house they found Mr Burton lying on his back, wearing only his underpants. The room was splattered with blood and music was still playing on his stereo. The giant blood-covered pencil was beside him. He had a deep gash in his upper thigh.

East Sussex coroner Alan Craze told the Hastings inquest: “It’s a mystery to me. If you were choosing to take your own life, that’s not the way you would do it. It seems to me that it can’t have been a single stab wound. He seems to have worked on it. The pencil was blunt.”

Jesus Hates Klingons

2010-03-08T12:14:00.000-08:00

Der Humpink

2010-03-08T12:10:00.001-08:00

Butt Drugs

2010-03-06T19:40:00.000-08:00

I wanna go there!it's close by too

21-day erection leaves 55-year-old Indian man impotent

2010-03-05T19:11:00.000-08:00

A 55-year-old Kolkata businessman found out what it would perhaps be like to have an overdose of Viagra. The father of two, ended up with a prolonged erection that lasted for a full 21 days.

And the exasperated gentleman, who found the situation too hot to handle, had not consumed the magic pill. His predicament resulted from a neurological disorder. It took an emergency surgery to relieve him but the man might have lost his ability to resume sexual activity, said doctors at the Wockhardt Hospitals. The man had been suffering from a problem called priapism — triggered by a peripheral nervous system disorder.

While for normal individuals, penile erection subsides once sexual excitement has ceased, victims of priapism fail to return to a normal state. Prolonged erection usually leads to a permanent damage to the penis and could even cause death. It has to be treated within six hours, but doctors in this case managed to save his life.

"It was too late by the time he sought treatment," said Avishek Mukherjee, urosurgeon at Wockhardt.

North Korean man executed for calling a friend in South Korea on mobile phone

2010-03-05T19:05:00.000-08:00

A North Korean factory worker has been executed by firing squad for sneaking news out of the country on his illicit mobile phone.

The armaments factory worker was accused of divulging the price of rice and other information on living conditions to a friend who had defected to South Korea years ago.

The man, surnamed Chong, made calls to the defector using an illegal Chinese mobile phone, according to an unnamed North Korean security agency official. The execution took place by firing squad in late January in Hamhung.

Mobile phone use in North Korea is tightly restricted, although the country introduced an advanced network in partnership with Cairo-based Orascom Telecom in 2008. North Koreans who manage to make illegal overseas mobile calls mostly use networks in China.

Zoobooks

2010-03-05T19:01:00.001-08:00

Creepy IHOP Ad 1969

2010-03-05T18:45:00.001-08:00

Happy Lamb

2010-03-03T19:52:00.001-08:00

College campus divided over Bible for porn campaign

2010-03-03T12:48:00.000-08:00

It's part of a campaign called 'Smut for Smut' sponsored by the student group, 'Atheist Agenda.' "We are comparing their religious text to pornography.." says group member Carlos Morales.

Collecting more than just the bible, this group accepts anything containing religious text. In return, students ages 18 or older receive pornography.

Atheist Agenda leaders say porn is no worse than what's written in some parts of religious texts.

"I don't understand how that equals at all .. to the word of God .. they're definitely opposites ... " says Monica Coronado, a University of Texas - San Antonio freshman.
w
Coronado is one of the many students joining hands, denouncing the group's message. "Honestly God isn't just about killing people .. he's about really righteousness .. I just wanted to explain.."

The debate spurs plenty of emotion from both sides, but some students took a different approach, supporting neither side, saying the debate accomplished nothing.

Rare Buddhist flower found under nun's washing machine

2010-03-02T10:43:00.000-08:00

A rarely seen Buddhist flower, which blossoms every 3,000 years, has been discovered under a nun's washing machine.

The Udumbara flower was found in the home of a Chinese nun in Lushan Mountain, Jiangxi province, China.

The rare Youtan Poluo or Udumbara flower, which, according to Buddhist legend, only blooms every 3,000 years, measures just 1mm in diametre.

Miao Wei, 50, was cleaning when she discovered the cluster of white flowers under the washing machine.

At first she thought the barely-there stems were worm eggs, however, the next day she discovered that the stems had grown 18 white tiny flowers on top and smelled "fragrant".

Local temples believe the mini blooms are specimens of the miraculous Youtan Poluo flower - called "Udumbara" or "Udambara" in Sanskrit, meaning "an auspicious flower from heaven."

Spell Cheque

2010-03-01T11:55:00.001-08:00

Eye halve a spelling chequer
It came with my pea sea
It plainly marques four my revue
Miss steaks eye kin knot sea.

Eye strike a key and type a word
And weight four it two say
Weather eye am wrong oar write
It shows me strait a weigh.

As soon as a mist ache is maid
It nose bee fore two long
And eye can put the error rite
Its rare lea ever wrong.

Eye have run this poem threw it
I am shore your pleased two no
Its letter perfect awl the weigh
My chequer tolled me sew.

I Actually Used To Own This

2010-02-23T21:17:00.000-08:00

TOBYZ TRANSITIONZ - watch more funny videos

Manson Interview

2010-02-23T19:26:00.001-08:00

10 People Who Give Christianity a Bad

2010-02-23T19:11:00.001-08:00

10 People Who Give Christianity a Bad Name

Posted using ShareThis

Australian cat thinks it's a chicken

2010-02-21T21:25:00.000-08:00

Four legs, two pointy ears, whiskers on his face - Bustopher might look like one, but he is far from being an ordinary cat. The four-year-old feline thinks he's a chicken.

When Naomi Oliver's chickens laid their eggs and didn't show much interest in the incubation and the upbringing of their offspring, the animal-lover's feline took over the command in the chook shed - and started incubating the eggs.

"I am not sure if he knows that he is a cat, he doesn't really behave like one," Mrs Oliver said. "Bustopher often wanders around in the chook pen, playing with the chooks as if he was one of them, not a predator."

But it wasn't until her chooks laid a few eggs in a nest outside their shed that Mrs Oliver discovered her cat's quirky affection for her poultry.

"I was looking for Bustopher and found him sitting on the eggs, obviously trying to incubate them," Mrs Oliver said. "When he was still there after three days I started wondering what was going through his head - but I am sure he thought he was doing a great job."

Mrs Oliver said her cat only left his nest once or twice a day to grab a feed and have a nap on her bed, before heading back to his hatchlings-to-be. "He's a real character, and obviously friends with my hens but when nothing hatched after three days he gave up on sitting on the eggs."

Full Length Trololo

2010-02-21T21:21:00.001-08:00

Shady Mofo

2010-02-18T22:35:00.000-08:00

the link below is just another name for this blog.
I used ShadyURL
Makes yo site look all shady as fuck

http://5z8.info/mercenary_glo7_dogs-being-eaten

Fuckin Craigslist Ad

2010-02-18T22:30:00.000-08:00

The Daily What

Trololo

2010-02-18T12:49:00.001-08:00

Honeymoon Accessories

2010-02-16T22:04:00.000-08:00

A knockout young lady decided that she wanted to get rich quick. So she proceeded to find herself a rich 73-year-old man, planning to screw him to death on their wedding night. The courtship and wedding went off without any problem, in spite of the half-century age difference. On the first night of her honeymoon, she got undressed, and waited for him to come out of the bathroom to come to bed.

When he emerged, however, he had nothing on except a rubber to cover his 12-inch erection, and he was carrying a pair of earplugs and a pair of nose plugs. Fearing her plan had gone amiss, she asked, "What are those for?"

The old man replied, "There are just two things I can't stand - The sound of a woman screaming, and the smell of burning rubber!"
via: Miss Cellania

Oldest Stoner

2010-02-16T21:58:00.000-08:00

2010-02-15T00:51:00.000-08:00

Fish

2010-02-14T19:13:00.001-08:00

Misery Bear's Valentine's Day

2010-02-14T18:42:00.000-08:00

Storeowner thwarts robbery in the name of Jesus

2010-02-12T21:44:00.000-08:00

A woman who owns a store in Texas ordered a would-be robber to get out “in the name of Jesus,” and the ploy worked.

Marian Chadwick, who owns a store in Frisco, says she stood her ground when a man burst in with a gun Monday evening and demanded money.

Chadwick says she commanded the would-be robber to get out of the store "In the name of Jesus.”

When the armed man balked and continued to demand money, Chadwick says she again refused, and told him, "I bind you in the name of Jesus and the Holy Spirit."

At that point, she says, he slowly backed off and then left the store. "It was just like this whole store filled with the power of God,” she said.

No one was hurt in the incident, which a customer witnessed and which was recorded on the store's security camera.

How To Masterbate An Elephant

2010-02-11T23:59:00.000-08:00

valuable information

Worst Slum in The World

2010-02-11T23:41:00.001-08:00

Spice It Up

2010-02-11T22:23:00.000-08:00

Spice It Up

Score: 80% (8 out of 10)

it's a quiz about spice substitutions

Stephen Fry On Catholicism

2010-02-08T22:16:00.001-08:00

The Intelligence² Debate - Stephen Fry (Unedited)
by Xrunner17

For Boredom

2010-02-07T23:34:00.000-08:00

go to criminalcheck.com.
type your FIRST NAME in the last name[required] space
hit the search
post the first criminal's offense and name on your Facebook,blog,etc

go to urbandictionary.com
search your name definition
post the results

my criminalcheck result:
HOLLIE GAYDON YOUNG-JR Nov 9 1962 Tennessee Sex Offender [alias]

my urbandictionary result:
A Sexy Blond Girl With Big Boobs. She Is Not The Skinniest Girl In The World But She Has A Big Personality And A Lot Of Love To Share. People Trust Her With Their Deepest Darkest Secrets. People Sometimes Block Her Out And Put Her Down But That Only Makes Her Stronger.........

She Hides Away Her Dreams She Is Scared What People Will Say If She Shares Her Dreams..........

But Overall She Is Confident With The Way She Is. She Is Sexy, Pretty And Always Has Friends Around That Will Support Her.

Storytime

2010-02-07T21:12:00.000-08:00

Aerobic Excercise Is A 'Waste Of Time'

2010-02-06T11:01:00.000-08:00

Millions of people who strive to keep fit by jogging, swimming or going to the gym are wasting their time, scientists have said. Researchers have discovered that the health benefits of aerobic exercise are determined by our genes - and can vary substantially between individuals.

Around 20 per cent of the population do not get any significant aerobic fitness benefit from regular exercise, according to an international study led by scientists at the University of London. For these people, regular jogging and gym work will do little to ward off conditions like heart disease and diabetes which aerobic exercise is generally thought to resist.

Researchers say they would be better off abandoning their exercise regime and focusing on other ways of staying healthy - such as improving their diet or taking medication.

James Timmons of the Royal Veterinary College at the University of London, who led the study, said that the discovery would pave the way for more personalised treatments, with patients able to take DNA tests to find out the most effective way of keeping their own hearts healthy.

As part of the research, published in the Journal of Applied Physiology, more than 500 participants in Europe and the US were asked to undergo various aerobic training programmes in line with government advice to do 30 minutes of exercise five times a week. By the end of the 20, 12 and six week programmes the majority of people had shown a measurable improvement in how much oxygen their body consumes during exercise, a key indicator of aerobic fitness.

But 20 per cent saw their maximum oxygen increase by less than five per cent - a negligible improvement. Around 30 per cent showed no increase in insulin sensitivity, meaning that the exercise did not reduce their risk of diabetes. A pioneering analysis of muscle tissue samples taken from the participants revealed a set of about 30 genes that predicted the increase in oxygen intake. Of these, 11 were shown to have a particular impact on how much a person could benefit from aerobic exercise.

100 Worst Movie Quotes

2010-02-05T21:32:00.000-08:00

god, a lot of these are just hilariously awful.

"I'm feeling really wired. How about I take you home and eat your pussy?"

'Oral sex is the new kissing' in Australian schools

2010-02-01T12:44:00.001-08:00

Teachers are overhearing Tasmanian primary students boasting about having oral sex. Roz Madsen from the Australian Education Union said teachers "felt helpless" at how to deal with the problem.

"The students are talking about what they have done on the weekend, sexual experiences that they are having," she said. "Anecdotally it seems to be happening at earlier ages." She said at a recent AEU forum, teachers had described what children in grade 4 and 5 talked about.

"They are talking about oral sex and saying they are doing it. Who knows if they are or are just boasting, I hope they are not," she said. "And the language as well, it's quite explicit, nothing is left to the imagination."

Family Planning Tasmania's chief executive Sue Williams said teachers were "horrified" at the conversations on Monday mornings when kids compared what they had done on the weekend. "All sorts of sexual activities," she said. "Oral sex has become the new kissing. It's easy and you don't get pregnant."

She said for some children, their first knowledge of sex was through pornography on computers or mobile phones. Sexting was also a growing problem, where kids send explicit photographs of themselves to others on mobile phones.

Ms Williams said teen pregnancy remained an issue and the centre had heard of 12 and 13-year-old girls falling pregnant and a 14-year-old giving birth to her second child. Relationships had evolved and school kids now had "friends with benefits" and multiple sexual partners rather than a steady mate, she said.

News Story

2010-02-01T12:18:00.000-08:00

Do You Know HIM?

2010-01-31T11:45:00.000-08:00

Thats MY KING

Ksysha | MySpace Video

weather report

2010-01-30T00:21:00.000-08:00

....well, it's snowing.all dramatic and poetic.
I'll take pics and post them
and I'll take tons if this amounts to anything good....

The Chaos

2010-01-29T18:54:00.000-08:00

penned by Dr. Gerard Nolst Trenité to demonstrate the difficulty of the English language

Dearest creature in creation
Studying English pronunciation,

I will teach you in my verse
Sounds like corpse, corps, horse and worse.

I will keep you, Susy, busy,
Make your head with heat grow dizzy;

Tear in eye, your dress you'll tear;
Queer, fair seer, hear my prayer.

Pray, console your loving poet,
Make my coat look new, dear, sew it! 10

Just compare heart, hear and heard,
Dies and diet, lord and word.

Sword and sward, retain and Britain
(Mind the latter how it's written).

Made has not the sound of bade,
Say - said, pay - paid, laid but plaid.

Now I surely will not plague you
With such words as vague and ague,

But be careful how you speak,
Say: gush, bush, steak, streak, break, bleak, 20

Previous, precious, fuchsia, via
Recipe, pipe, studding-sail, choir;

Woven, oven, how and low,
Script, receipt, shoe, poem, toe.

Say, expecting fraud and trickery:
Daughter, laughter and Terpsichore,

Branch, ranch, measles, topsails, aisles,
Missiles, similes, reviles.

Wholly, holly, signal, signing,
Same, examining, but mining, 30

Scholar, vicar, and cigar,
Solar, mica, war and far.

From "desire": desirable - admirable from "admire",
Lumber, plumber, bier, but brier,

Topsham, brougham, renown, but known,
Knowledge, done, lone, gone, none, tone,

One, anemone, Balmoral,
Kitchen, lichen, laundry, laurel.

Gertrude, German, wind and wind,
Beau, kind, kindred, queue, mankind, 40

Tortoise, turquoise, chamois-leather,
Reading, Reading, heathen, heather.

This phonetic labyrinth
Gives moss, gross, brook, brooch, ninth, plinth.

Have you ever yet endeavoured
To pronounce revered and severed,

Demon, lemon, ghoul, foul, soul,
Peter, petrol and patrol?

Billet does not end like ballet;
Bouquet, wallet, mallet, chalet. 50

Blood and flood are not like food,
Nor is mould like should and would.

Banquet is not nearly parquet,
Which exactly rhymes with khaki.

Discount, viscount, load and broad,
Toward, to forward, to reward,

Ricocheted and crocheting, croquet?
Right! Your pronunciation's OK.

Rounded, wounded, grieve and sieve,
Friend and fiend, alive and live. 60

Is your R correct in higher?
Keats asserts it rhymes with Thalia.

Hugh, but hug, and hood, but hoot,
Buoyant, minute, but minute.

Say abscission with precision,
Now: position and transition;

Would it tally with my rhyme
If I mentioned paradigm?

Twopence, threepence, tease are easy,
But cease, crease, grease and greasy? 70

Cornice, nice, valise, revise,
Rabies, but lullabies.

Of such puzzling words as nauseous,
Rhyming well with cautious, tortious,

You'll envelop lists, I hope,
In a linen envelope.

Would you like some more? You'll have it!
Affidavit, David, davit.

To abjure, to perjure. Sheik
Does not sound like Czech but ache. 80

Liberty, library, heave and heaven,
Rachel, loch, moustache, eleven.

We say hallowed, but allowed,
People, leopard, towed but vowed.

Mark the difference, moreover,
Between mover, plover, Dover.

Leeches, breeches, wise, precise,
Chalice, but police and lice,

Camel, constable, unstable,
Principle, disciple, label. 90

Petal, penal, and canal,
Wait, surmise, plait, promise, pal,

Suit, suite, ruin. Circuit, conduit
Rhyme with "shirk it" and "beyond it",

But it is not hard to tell
Why it's pall, mall, but Pall Mall.

Muscle, muscular, gaol, iron,
Timber, climber, bullion, lion,

Worm and storm, chaise, chaos, chair,
Senator, spectator, mayor, 100

Ivy, privy, famous; clamour
Has the A of drachm and hammer.

Pussy, hussy and possess,
Desert, but desert, address.

Golf, wolf, countenance, lieutenants
Hoist in lieu of flags left pennants.

Courier, courtier, tomb, bomb, comb,
Cow, but Cowper, some and home.

"Solder, soldier! Blood is thicker",
Quoth he, "than liqueur or liquor", 110

Making, it is sad but true,
In bravado, much ado.

Stranger does not rhyme with anger,
Neither does devour with clangour.

Pilot, pivot, gaunt, but aunt,
Font, front, wont, want, grand and grant.

Arsenic, specific, scenic,
Relic, rhetoric, hygienic.

Gooseberry, goose, and close, but close,
Paradise, rise, rose, and dose. 120

Say inveigh, neigh, but inveigle,
Make the latter rhyme with eagle.

Mind! Meandering but mean
Valentine and magazine.

And I bet you, dear, a penny,
You say mani-(fold) like many,

Which is wrong. Say rapier, pier,
Tier (one who ties), but tier.

Arch, archangel; pray, does erring
Rhyme with herring or with stirring? 130

Prison, bison, treasure trove,
Treason, hover, cover, cove,

Perseverance, severance. Ribald
Rhymes (but piebald doesn't) with nibbled.

Phaeton, paean, gnat, ghat, gnaw,
Lien, psychic, shone, bone, pshaw.

Don't be down, my own, but rough it,
And distinguish buffet, buffet;

Brood, stood, roof, rook, school, wool, boon,
Worcester, Boleyn, to impugn. 140

Say in sounds correct and sterling
Hearse, hear, hearken, year and yearling.

Evil, devil, mezzotint,
Mind the z! (A gentle hint.)

Now you need not pay attention
To such sounds as I don't mention,

Sounds like pores, pause, pours and paws,
Rhyming with the pronoun yours;

Nor are proper names included,
Though I often heard, as you did, 150

Funny rhymes to unicorn,
Yes, you know them, Vaughan and Strachan.

No, my maiden, coy and comely,
I don't want to speak of Cholmondeley.

No. Yet Froude compared with proud
Is no better than McLeod.

But mind trivial and vial,
Tripod, menial, denial,

Troll and trolley, realm and ream,
Schedule, mischief, schism, and scheme. 160

Argil, gill, Argyll, gill. Surely
May be made to rhyme with Raleigh,

But you're not supposed to say
Piquet rhymes with sobriquet.

Had this invalid invalid
Worthless documents? How pallid,

How uncouth he, couchant, looked,
When for Portsmouth I had booked!

Zeus, Thebes, Thales, Aphrodite,
Paramour, enamoured, flighty, 170

Episodes, antipodes,
Acquiesce, and obsequies.

Please don't monkey with the geyser,
Don't peel 'taters with my razor,

Rather say in accents pure:
Nature, stature and mature.

Pious, impious, limb, climb, glumly,
Worsted, worsted, crumbly, dumbly,

Conquer, conquest, vase, phase, fan,
Wan, sedan and artisan. 180

The TH will surely trouble you
More than R, CH or W.

Say then these phonetic gems:
Thomas, thyme, Theresa, Thames.

Thompson, Chatham, Waltham, Streatham,
There are more but I forget 'em -

Wait! I've got it: Anthony,
Lighten your anxiety.

The archaic word albeit
Does not rhyme with eight - you see it; 190

With and forthwith, one has voice,
One has not, you make your choice.

Shoes, goes, does [1]. Now first say: finger;
Then say: singer, ginger, linger.

Real, zeal, mauve, gauze and gauge,
Marriage, foliage, mirage, age,

Hero, heron, query, very,
Parry, tarry, fury, bury,

Dost, lost, post, and doth, cloth, loth,
Job, Job, blossom, bosom, oath. 200

Faugh, oppugnant, keen oppugners,
Bowing, bowing, banjo-tuners

Holm you know, but noes, canoes,
Puisne, truism, use, to use?

Though the difference seems little,
We say actual, but victual,

Seat, sweat, chaste, caste, Leigh, eight, height,
Put, nut, granite, and unite

Reefer does not rhyme with deafer,
Feoffer does, and zephyr, heifer. 210

Dull, bull, Geoffrey, George, ate, late,
Hint, pint, senate, but sedate.

Gaelic, Arabic, pacific,
Science, conscience, scientific;

Tour, but our, dour, succour, four,
Gas alas, and Arkansas.

Say manoeuvre, yacht and vomit,
Next omit, which differs from it

Bona fide, alibi
Gyrate, dowry and awry. 220

Sea, idea, guinea, area,
Psalm, Maria, but malaria.

Youth, south, southern, cleanse and clean,
Doctrine, turpentine, marine.

Compare alien with Italian,
Dandelion with battalion,

Rally with ally; yea, ye,
Eye, I, ay, aye, whey, key, quay!

Say aver, but ever, fever,
Neither, leisure, skein, receiver. 230

Never guess - it is not safe,
We say calves, valves, half, but Ralf.

Starry, granary, canary,
Crevice, but device, and eyrie,

Face, but preface, then grimace,
Phlegm, phlegmatic, ass, glass, bass.

Bass, large, target, gin, give, verging,
Ought, oust, joust, and scour, but scourging;

Ear, but earn; and ere and tear
Do not rhyme with here but heir. 240

Mind the O of off and often
Which may be pronounced as orphan,

With the sound of saw and sauce;
Also soft, lost, cloth and cross.

Pudding, puddle, putting. Putting?
Yes: at golf it rhymes with shutting.

Respite, spite, consent, resent.
Liable, but Parliament.

Seven is right, but so is even,
Hyphen, roughen, nephew, Stephen, 250

Monkey, donkey, clerk and jerk,
Asp, grasp, wasp, demesne, cork, work.

A of valour, vapid, vapour,
S of news (compare newspaper),

G of gibbet, gibbon, gist,
I of antichrist and grist,

Differ like diverse and divers,
Rivers, strivers, shivers, fivers.

Once, but nonce, toll, doll, but roll,
Polish, Polish, poll and poll. 260

Pronunciation - think of Psyche! -
Is a paling, stout and spiky.

Won't it make you lose your wits
Writing groats and saying 'grits'?

It's a dark abyss or tunnel
Strewn with stones like rowlock, gunwale,

Islington, and Isle of Wight,
Housewife, verdict and indict.

Don't you think so, reader, rather,
Saying lather, bather, father? 270

Finally, which rhymes with enough,
Though, through, bough, cough, hough, sough, tough??

Hiccough has the sound of sup...
My advice is: GIVE IT UP!

Chinese legal experts call for ban on eating cats and dogs

2010-01-27T10:54:00.001-08:00

Chinese legal experts are proposing a ban on eating dogs and cats in a contentious move to end a culinary tradition dating back thousands of years. The recommendation will be submitted to higher authorities in April as part of a draft bill to tackle animal abuse.

In ancient times, dog meat was considered a medicinal tonic. Today, it is commonly available throughout the country, but particularly in the north where dog stew is popular for its supposed warming qualities.

In recent years, however, such traditions are increasingly criticised by an affluent, pet-loving, urban middle class. Online petitions against dog and cat consumption have attracted tens of thousands of signatures. Videos showing the maltreatment of farmed dogs have spurred protests at markets where the animals are bought and sold.

But the drafters of the new proposal want far more drastic measures, which would oblige law enforcement authorities to close down thousands of dog restaurants and butchers which supply the meat.

According to the draft, illegal sale or consumption of pets would incur a maximum penalty of 15 days in prison for individuals or a 500,000 yuan fine for businesses. Public security bureaus would be obliged to respond to hotline calls from the public about violations.

"We are proposing that all dog and cat eating should be banned because it is causing many social problems," said Chang Jiwen, a law professor at the Chinese Academy of Social Sciences who heads the drafting team.

Food And Sex

2010-01-26T06:30:00.000-08:00

When you think of it, there are only two things people need. You got to have sex. You got to have food. That's it. You don't need clothing, shelter, or TV. Okay, maybe TV, but otherwise, it's sex and food. But for some reason, some people think sex is dirty. Maybe God was a Republican.

Somebody said, "All right, you want to propagate, go ahead, but only late at night, with all the doors closed, man on top, once a week, that's it." But not only can you eat the charred decaying flesh of other major mammals, you can do it in broad daylight and invite all your friends to watch: "Hey, Chuck, why don't you come over on Sunday? We're going to kill a pig, cut him up, burn him, and eat him. Bring the kids, we'll have a hell of a time."

What if they had been switched around? What if, through a simple twist of fate, sex was clean but food was dirty? Our entire culture would change. Food would become a four-letter word.

When people got angry at you, they'd yell out "Oh yeah? Well, food you. Suck cheese you Popsicle slurper." Punks in passing cars would flip you the fork. Flashers would have pizzas strapped to their chests. "Oh my goodness. It's a pepperoni."

Locker room talk would change. "Hey, man, how'd you do this weekend?"
"Two burgers and a bag of fries. Crinkle cut."

Garlic would be illegal in most Southern states. Supermarkets would check I.D.'s and charge admission to the poultry section. Frederick's of Hollywood would feature peekaboo napkins and day-of-the-week paper plates. Foreplay would be listed as a menu selection.

Vice squads would conduct raids on backyard barbecues. "All right, put down your meat. Just back away from the buns, mister."

Vegetarians would be prohibited from becoming teachers and a lot of them would move to the Bay Area. Hookers would become cooks.

You'd be accosted on street corners by plump ladies in Day-Glo aprons. "Hey, big boy, looking for a hot meal? Wanna crack some crab?"

Fundamentalist Christians would make meat and potatoes a religious tenet.

Many sexual positions would be found to be carcinogenic.

Parents would tell their children not to play with their food or they'll go blind.

Kids would remember the first time their mother caught them marinating.

Via:Miss Cellania

Man Jailed For Twisting Off Kitten's Head

2010-01-26T05:42:00.000-08:00

A man who tore the head off a kitten in front of his family in New Zealand has been sentenced to two years and four months in prison. David Hamuera Snook has also been banned from owning or exercising animals for five years.

The Pukekohe District Court heard how Snook went to his former partner's house drunk, in November, where an argument happened.

Snook then sat at the dining table, took the family kitten in his arms, and while laughing, twisted its head off.

His former partner and her children watched Snook kill the kitten before its headless body ran across the floor, according to the police summary of facts.

Snook later told police that the kitten had been run over, however, in her sentencing Judge Sharon McAuslan said that was a lie.

She described the killing of the kitten as "callous, brutal and cruel". "The kitten had one life and you took it", Judge McAuslan said.

False Alarm

2010-01-26T05:18:00.000-08:00

Oh.ok then.it's only a false alarm.nevermind

Testing 1.2.3...

2010-01-25T11:14:00.000-08:00

Seig Heil!!
Ich Lieb Dich, mein Furher!!

None reads this, do they?
If anyone DID I'd get a ton of comments on the above quote.

prove me wrong

I'm waiting.....

'Neil Young' Covers 'Pants On The Ground'

2010-01-24T14:35:00.000-08:00

Misery Bear Takes Day Off

2010-01-21T23:36:00.000-08:00

Otter climbs tree as an act of 'teenage rebellion'

2010-01-21T23:28:00.000-08:00

A young otter who amazed visitors to a wildlife centre by climbing up a 15ft tree may have been carrying out an act of 'teenage rebellion', according to experts.

Staff at the Slimbridge Wetland Centre in Gloucestershire said it was 'very unusual' to see the creatures scrambling up branches. But one theory is that the otter, named Mo, may have been 'flexing her teenage muscles' and trying to prove herself.

Slimbridge spokeswoman Sally Munro said: 'It's the otter equivalent of stomping upstairs to your room and slamming the door.'

The centre's mammal manager, John Crooks, said: 'This is certainly very unusual behaviour for an otter, but I think maybe she is going through some kind of teenage rebellion. Otters are strong mammals and she is climbing progressively higher each time so she seems to be very determined and headstrong.

via:arbroath

2010-01-20T23:26:00.000-08:00

A 'Tweet' by Trent Reznor

'' Has everyone bitched enough today, or would you like something else to complain about?
4:47 PM May 11th, 2009 from TweetDeck ''

God, I love him

Chapter One

2010-01-20T21:54:00.000-08:00

UMMMM Okay.I have the novel I want to write inside my head.How the fuck do I begin?
I'm really lost.
I have my cappuccino here, I'm not tired, I feel like writing...

I'm stuck

[This is the space where my first chapter is supposed to be..]

I wish I could just upload it somehow.If I write it on paper, someone will read it.I don't want that to happen.

I'm SOOOOO fucking stuck right now.
It's never been this hard before

And yes, that video down there under this post scares the shit out of me.It automatically starts....

''You're cute when you get the shit scared out of you...''

Goddess Bunny

2010-01-19T15:43:00.000-08:00

I saw this 2 years ago when I was alone.Freaked me out.I found it again today, because I had to share it.Supposedly this person pictured is a transvestite with polio.I didn't know that.

Artist Creates Replica of Crucifixtion With Toast

2010-01-15T12:49:00.000-08:00

An artist has stunned a church congregation after creating this giant replica of the Crucifixion - made from 153 slices of burned toast.

Adam Sheldon, 33, designed the unique piece of art six months ago at the request of his mother who worships at the Anglican Church of St Peter, in Great Limber., Lincs.

Using his toaster, artist Adam, burned every piece of bread before drying them out and flattening them so they were ready to be positioned in a giant frame.

He then spent hours scraping the toast with a knife to create the lighter parts of the image, such as Christ's halo, and a blow torch to create darker patches.

His Crucifixion picture now measures six feet (1.8m) by three-and-a-half feet (1.1m) and was mounted on the wall of St Peter's knave on January 30.

Reverend Felicity Couch, 50, said the ''utterly unique'' image would stay up for two weeks and added many parishioners had not initially realised it was made from toast.